Self doubt is a butt kicker. Nothing can derail us faster.

 

 

And, in this day and age of Social Media, self doubt is at an all time high.

 

 

It’s often brought on by “Comparison….”

 

 

We hop on Facebook and see someone’s perfect business; perfect body; perfect family; perfect life…

 

 

We fall victim to the “comparison hangover.” 

 

 

It comes in two forms - us, comparing ourselves to our “past self.”

 

 

This is especially true for women - our weight; physical appearance; new wrinkles….it goes on.

 

 

“Wow, when will I have THOSE abs again…..”

 

 

Or, the butt I had in my twenties; the skin I had before the effects of the sun set in….

 

 

The second is the comparison we make of ourselves to others.  Again, our quick scroll on Instagram sheds light on all those areas where we feel we don’t measure up…

 

 

We start doubting one thing….and then another….and then another.

 

 

We start buying into that lie we have been telling ourselves for far too long -

 

 

That we don’t measure up; that we aren’t good enough; 

 

We look at what other people are doing; we look at their success; we see them on the top of the Leader Boards; crossing the stage with a big check; going on VIP cruises and trips!
 

We get so bogged down with the mindset pitfalls,

 

We MUST get out of our own head - it’s a scary place.  Because it’s in our minds that we create our own stories about experiences and perceptions.

 

I’m not as good as so and so…

 

I don’t have what it takes…

 

I can’t figure it out….

 

I should have never even started….

 

I’m a LOSER…..

 

We create big stories in our head that crush our confidence, shatter our belief and bring us down.

 

Now, about those dreaded mindset pitfalls,  They are deadly, really.

 

And, we have all been there with that small, annoying voice that whispers in our ear -

 

Who do you think you are? You aren’t as good as so and so…

 

How come YOU aren’t at the top level of your company?

 

You don’t have what it takes…

 

You should just stick to what you know…

 

Blah, blah, blah.

 

What you might want to do is spend some time where life really happens. Right here, right now, where reality hangs out. What goes on in your mind is a dream…a nightmare really….and it can derail you.

 
Don’t let your stories turn into realities.

 
Here is the interesting dynamic -

 
It is IMPORTANT that you surround yourself with people who are successful, and in fact, more successful than you. And, it is equally as important that you appreciate what you can learn from these people and how you can be inspired. Competition is healthy.

 

And, NOT to fall into comparing yourself, because this is ALWAYS a no win. You will lose every time.

 

Most of the time, these comparisons are comparing Apples and Oranges.

 

We all have unique life situations.

 

My story – every year, I would go to my company convention; sit in the nosebleed seats and compare myself to everyone else. I would wonder what they were doing that was so right, and what I was doing that was so wrong.

Finally, when I did a personal inventory of my current life situation, I could see the glaring differences. I was a mom of a toddler and baby; I was a part time single mom, when my pilot husband was off flying. I was lucky to get one phone call made a day. I was spending an awful lot of time wallowing in self pity.

 

I didn't get to the top as quickly as others; but I got there. Strictly by toughing it out and sticking with it.

So, what is your personal life situation inventory?

I mentioned Competition – let it fuel you, It’s good and it’s powerful. It’s healthy peer pressure.


A few years ago, I started on a serious practice of yoga; 3-5 classes a week. And, yoga is supposed to be a deeply personal experience. It’s not meant to be any kind of comparison except to yourself and what you have done and how you have improved.

But, that doesn’t always stop me from glancing at others on their mat, and asking ‘how come they can do the pretzel and I look like a praying mantis?’

Here are some things to do to use these times to your advantage.

Reframe the way you look at competition. When you see someone and start to feel a little envious, ask ask that person his/her story. Listen. TRULY listen, and absorb what they tell you and see them when they were just getting started.

What are their strategies; what do they do; how can you model what they do, and not who they are? Stop looking at others and saying – why am I not there?

 

Today, I pulled an affirmation card to start my day as part of my morning meditation practice. It said -

 

 

“The main event isn’t the destination; it’s my joyous journey.”

 

 

Yes, I love this crazy, hot mess of a journey in life and business. I am working on embracing every step; every minute; every “wrong” turn; and every success.

 

 

You are here to experience life; to experience people…and situations….and enjoy life.

 

 

Not to complete things and check them off the list as quickly as possible.

 

 

 

How are you doing with that?

 

 

Have a beautiful Sunday and an AWESOME week!

 

EXPECT Success!

Jackie Ulmer
StreetSmartWealth.com
 

PS - If you'd like to hear more of this on my Podcast, here is where you'll find it -

Comparison Hangover


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